Mom and 16 year old son after 7 in-person and 3 phone sessions
My son Adam [not real name] struggled in school for years. He never seemed to be aware of what was going on around him. He had diagnoses such as poor short-term memory, ADHD, and Non-Verbal Learning Disorder on the Autism Spectrum. He needed special accommodations to succeed in school. In the year that Adam worked with Jeff, he became more focused and more aware of what was happening around him. Adam began, for the first time, to actually take charge of his responsibilities and make a plan to take care of them. The most amazing thing Jeff did for my son was give him a strong sense of self and what he could accomplish. The school system had taken that away from him. He is now successfully living on his own at college, succeeding without use of any accommodations.
Here are two of the emails this mom sent to Jeff.
After 1 in-person session: Thank you Jeff. The day you worked with Adam, I left for work giving him some instructions for things to do while I was gone. He was FULLY present! Eye Contact! It was very amazing. Later when I called he told me what he had accomplished AND quickly told me plans for everything else (school work) he had left to do. He has never just listed out everything to do in that way before. He never seemed to have the ability to plan ahead. I am very grateful and looking forward to you helping him even more.
After 5 in-person sessions: He is now driving by himself. I am actually letting him fail and deal with the consequences, which I have not been able to do before.
Mom and 6 year old son after 30 brief in-person sessions
It seemed to happen overnight at 4 years, 10 months old. My beautiful loving boy turned into a child I didn't recognize. Ryan [not real name] went from loving and joyful to hurtful and fearful. This was the child that looked at me with the most loving eyes, told me without words that he loved me completely and felt absolutely safe. Those looks turned into anger and fear. My kisses and cuddles did not help. He pushed me away. I felt like my heart was slowly being pulled out of my chest.
When he was six I was told by his teacher that Ryan was purposely trying to hurt his friends, not physically, but mentally. He would destroy artwork and carefully built buildings and cities worked on by his friends, without remorse. He didn't seem to care.
I felt like someone had kidnapped Ryan's soul in the middle of the night and replaced him. He would fall down, babble uncontrollably, shake, not focus, or listen to anyone. His eyes looked haunting, so dark and glassy, like there wasn't anything there. When Ryan was six we brought him to see Jeff.
Some of this mom's journal excerpts kept at Jeff's suggestion for the duration of her son's in-person sessions.
[TIMING: Initial 5 sessions were 20-30 minutes; subsequent ones were 10-15 minutes.]
2/10/11: 1st session. Ryan was a little hesitant but opened up right away. He had a lot of energy while at Jeff's office, but did allow Jeff to do some work with him. In the next couple weeks Ryan was still over-energetic, but seemed to be a little more grounded.
3/21/11: 3rd session. After this session Ryan was more in touch with his feelings, which we hadn't seen before. He seemed to understand emotions like disappointment and loneliness.
4/13/11: 4th session. Up to this point Ryan had not understood a play date and didn't want to interact. Now he loves playing with other children, daily wanting to have a friend over.
5/3/11: 5th session. We have seen the biggest change to date. Ryan is speaking in clearer and longer sentences. He understands a lot more and is asking a lot of "why" questions—something he never did before. He recalls a lot of things and is a lot calmer. His class is learning a song at school and he will recall and sing all the words on his own—something he also never did. He is more imaginative and will play creatively with his toys. He was playing with two dinosaurs and had them growling and roaring at each other. We've never seen this type of play.
His school work has improved and he seems to understand it. He'll say words and recall things that will actually surprise us. He had a play fish tank in his bathroom that had 'grow fish" inside. He got a new one and lost the top; he looked for it for a while and then went over to one of his old ones and took the top off and used that to cover the hole. He hasn't shown this type of problem-solving previously. I was so proud.
5/16/11: 6th session. On the ride home from Jeff's office Ryan started talking about vowels and said… "the vowels are a-e-i-o-u and sometimes y." We were impressed, especially with "sometimes y." When we got home Ryan said "I know how to spell junior [like in Disney Junior] j-u-n-i-o-r." He also spent almost an hour sitting quietly putting puzzles together. The next morning he woke up, made his bed and picked out the clothes he was going to wear for the day and laid them on his bed. He's using more words and making longer sentences. His speech is getting clearer. He continues to want to play with other children and at times initiates the play. He's using his imagination more and will make sounds for his toys. He also seems more aware of things around him. He'll sing to the radio and remember a lot of the words. He's asking "why" a lot and will notice things around him and make comments about them.
We went to a friend's house one Saturday night. They have an 8 year old boy. Ryan went right upstairs and played with the boy without any problems. In the past he would be shy, stay by his dad and me and wouldn't go play unless we went with him. He went upstairs on his own and stayed up there. They were very interactive.
6/2/11: 7th session. Ryan now holds long conversations with his grandmother and will even play with her for extended periods of time. In the past he would have to check in with his dad and me and would want some mothering. He seems really comfortable with gramma. He has been using hurtful words lately like I hate you and I don't want you and I don't love you, but mostly because he gets mad. Part of the time he wants to see if he can get us riled up. So he's recognizing that his words affect people, which is a big step. He loves saying I love you and does so quite frequently. He wants a lot of hugs and needs a lot of sensory touching.
He went through the whole 18 holes of miniature golf without a temper tantrum. In the past he would miss a shot and throw the club and throw himself on the ground and that would be it. This time, if he missed a shot he would just keep trying, or would pick up the ball and put it in a better spot. He kept hitting until it went in. It was the best outdoor experience we've had and it was wonderful!
7/4/11: 9th session. We went away for a week and Ryan understood everything going on around him on the plane and was very calm. We visited a children's museum with a giant climbing structure that was netted and went up three stories. He climbed the whole tower to the top.
7/19/11: 10th session. We went to a birthday party in a loud place with a lot of children. He hasn't done well in the past with these types of places but he jumped right into the fun. He played on the bounce houses and raced cars and shot baskets. When it was time to listen and play games he was right in there paying attention and following instructions. He was completely comfortable in this environment. We are ecstatic with this progress.
8/15/11: 12th session. Ryan started school two days after this session. His papers are coming home complete and done right. The teacher says all she has to do is give him instructions and he does all his work by himself. This is completely different from three months ago when he was anxious, didn't want to go to school, and cried multiple times during the day. He was distracted and the teacher had to sit one-on-one with him to help him complete his work. He now even uses his imagination, makes up games and enjoys playing them.
8/29/11: 13th session. Ryan took his first math test and he got a 100 percent. He did it all on his own with no help. Three months ago he needed one-on-one help and could barely finish the test.
9/13/11: 14th session. Three months ago Ryan would lose focus and couldn't finish his schoolwork. He would get distracted and fall out of his chair and roll around. The teacher says he does none of that this year. He stays his seat and gets his work done just like she asks. It's a huge improvement.
He got three more 100s on his work. He really understands the concepts. When the teacher asks him to complete a job, he understands the directions and what needs to be done, whether it's math, writing, or science. He's also very talkative, but has a lot to say. His sentences are more complex, using bigger and more complex words and sentences that are more descriptive. He now comes home and tells us all that he's learning in school
We went to a birthday party at a bowling alley and didn't know how he would do. When last there the noise and lights were too much for him. He was perfectly fine at this party. He ran around with the other children, bowled, and had a great time. We were very happy.
10/11/11: 16th session. We had a conference with Ryan's teacher and she stated that there is no comparison with what Ryan did 5 months ago. He's a completely different child. He does all his work, he understands, he's aware of the world around him. He likes to play with the other children and will even join in or initiate play. His handwriting is improving tremendously. You can read the letters and numbers he writes. He has a lot more confidence.
10/25/11: 17th session. Ryan's teacher said that he was now working at grade level. We took him to Universal Studios on a busy Saturday. Typically he has a problem with lights, crowds, noises and rides but he was completely calm and enjoyed himself. He even rode a few fast and scary rides. We had a fabulous time.
11/29/11: 18th session. The most exciting news we received was the results of his reading assessment at school. The assessment showed that he's working at and above grade level.
12/13/11: 19th session. Ryan's grandparents are in town for the winter and he's really excited and very interactive with them. They've been having a great time. He is using bigger, more complex sentences with bigger words. He's also remembering things he's learned from either school or TV and is reciting them daily.
4/26/12: 23rd session. Ryan was in a musical at school and I was unsure how he would react with more than 100 children singing in front of hundreds of parents. He did a great job! He sang, did the movements, and really enjoyed himself. We recently waited 45 minutes for one of the rides at Disney and he was calm and patient. He rode one roller coaster 5 times. We received results of his reading proficiency test from school and he continues to be at or above grade.
11/19/12: 30th session. We continue to see more and more improvement with Ryan. He is talking a lot more and is using big words in the proper context. He also remembers a lot of things. He'll remember conversations or places or events that happened weeks, sometimes months ago. He'll recall specific details about those events. It's almost like a portion of his brain finally turned on. I've always felt like he had all the knowledge in his brain but just couldn't get it out. Now it seems like that switch has been turned on and things are pouring out.
He's a lot more social. He'll start conversations in public and will even respond correctly when asked, "How are you?" This may seem like a simple task, but for Ryan he didn't look anyone in the eye, would be very agitated and wouldn't respond even with prompts. Now he's even starting the conversation and asking people how they're doing before they ask. He's a lot more comfortable in public and among large groups, which is an amazing feat.
* When needed, the above reports have been edited to clarify wording.
