Simply stated: get grounded, and speak in short simple sentences saying exactly what you want to accomplish. Creating these focused sentences helps you clear your mind and clarify what you want. Clarity is easier to speak and short sentences are easier to both hear and understand.

Common ways of verbal communication often include needless complexity such as: talking around things rather than getting to the point; pushing your perspective in order to win; talking to prove that you are intelligent. All of these cause people to react and become more distant.

Steps for being heard:

1. Get grounded by resting into your body and feeling what your body is resting against.
2. Know the result that you want before you speak.
3. Phrase your communication in short sentences, never more than nine words. Three sentences at the most. Less is generally better.
4. Give up believing that being direct is impolite.
5. Be calmly direct and then be quiet. Give the other person time to respond, if a response is needed. If not, move on to the next thing.
6. Use this approach when something needs to be accomplished. Social conversations are something quite different.

You are always transmitting your state of being. When you are ambiguous, superior, controlling, or talking in circles, you cause a reaction in other people. You become more distant from each other, less connected.

When you are grounded and know what you want to accomplish, you are more connected with yourself. When you are more connected with yourself, others are more comfortable with you and with themselves. The pathway to clear communication is open.

I began following a voice deep within my chest, a voice I prefer to call Heart Presence in 1972.  In doing so, and inherent to the experience, I knew beyond doubt that I was on a reliable course with my life. Years later, I began to experience something even deeper and infinitely “bigger,” best described as a river of life underlying Heart Presence. Over time, it became clear that this river was existence itself, and that it included what might be described as an omnipresent “message”—a message not heard or even intuited, but sensed or known deep within in some indescribable way. Sensed or known in the way we know we are wet when swimming in the ocean. 

In wanting to put this message into words for you, I found myself baffled. The only way that worked was to use the first person, “I,” as if an individual is speaking. This is just a device to convey the indescribable. (Perhaps this is how “god” came to be personified in the ancient religious texts.)

The river and its “message” is something like the following. Even after 30 years of being connected with it, it remains odd to me that existence – something infinitely vast – could have a message:

“Here I am. I am the All, the basis of your life and all life. I am within you as you. I am the very beginning of you and all that exists. I am the origin of you and all you will ever be. I am the highest possibility. I carry you and all humanity toward Me in all moments. You are as vast as Me because we are One.”

We can call “the Highest” anything we want. Some common terms are: God, Source, Lord, the Everlasting, Almighty, Godhead, Jehovah, Yahweh, Allah, the Creator, the Highest, the highest frequencies of vibration, the Absolute, or unified field. And we can approach it any way that suits us: through religion, science, spiritual seeking, communing with nature, seeking excellence in any pursuit. Whatever the term or approach, this is what we eventually find by following our deep inner yearning for love, connection, and joy.

Choosing to experience the above for yourself, and the process of getting there, adds a sweet stability to your life. You can make it as holy, humanistic, or ordinary as you want.

Imagine knowing for certain that your life, and life in general, is moving toward the highest, in spite of all that is currently happening in the world around you.  Imagine having this as the basis of all that you create.

The times we are living in remind us that the days of being resistant to change must end.  In spite of any fear of doing so, we must change our familiar way of operating. We cannot afford to stay the same and we don’t have to. We can learn to mine the untapped powers we all possess.

You have within you the higher levels of consciousness that spiritual leaders have talked about for centuries. Within this consciousness are “minds” that transcend ordinary thinking and processing. One of these minds lives deep within your mid-chest. This mind is not a mind that thinks. It is your innermost self (Buddha nature, Christ within, formlessness, Heart Presence, pure consciousness), and it directly knows your most enlightened course of action in all situations. Your innermost self is also where love, connection, peace, beauty and joy are found.

Another mind, even more profound than your Heart Presence, comes into existence when the mind in your head is working in conjunction with the mind deep in your chest. In the East, this mind has been called “the jewel in the lotus.” Human beings do not have to stay the same. What is it that you want to do and be?

Deep within you is the yearning for a greater life and the courage to follow it. As you follow this yearning, in the context of your daily life, you will come to know that your life matters and you will effortlessly lift up those around you. In a time of great stress, it is time to do what it takes to get free. You can do this, and we can do it together.

Essentially, life gives us three choices: we can stay in the smaller world of our conditioning; we can hang out in a place that’s kind of nowhere — not satisfied, not dissatisfied; or we can be dedicated learners and use each day to reach for the higher levels of life.

I recently had my 67th birthday. Living in a culture that conveys aging as a disease is quite a challenge. Each day I feel blessed, literally, that many years ago I centered myself in a path of true learning. I chose only what was authentic and avoided quick fixes, however attractive. This has paid off. My life continues to get brighter and brighter. More love, greater productivity and impact, more light, color and beauty. All this while not denying the struggles inherent to human existence.

So here’s my advice as we move into the next year. Take some time to get quiet and ask yourself the question: What is the life I actually want?

Deep within your chest is a voice — very subtle — that says “I Am.” Let the answers to the question come from this voice and write them down. Give your pen the freedom to write without thinking, editing, or holding back. Watch that words like love, joy, freedom, peace, connection, compassion, and clarity want to roll off your pen.

You are made to do what it takes to bring these parts of yourself to life. Surrender.

Daily look for the following within you. Then, playfully explore the suggestions:
1. A desire to slow down
(This is your True Self; listen to it.)

2. A yearning to be quiet
(Rest inward and let your awareness move toward the quiet; you can do this - trust your inner ability to go toward the right place.)

3. Wanting more sleep
(It’s natural to sleep more in the winter; enjoy healing your body and being.)

4. Wanting more time for yourself
(You will find the time if you give up your excuses.)

5. Less interest in the world around you
(Take a break from what’s not necessary; question what you believe is “necessary.”)

6. Less drive
(It’s OK to do less for a while; your world will not fall apart. As you recognize your inner quiet as part of who you are, you will naturally learn how to get more done with less effort.)

7. A simple happiness that is not based on anything in particular
(It’s in you. Notice, however, that it can be obscured by excessive thoughts or emotions. Choose to awaken this happiness; it is found within your Heart Presence.)

You can use the above as a daily practice. The more time you give it, the greater and more permanent the rewards.

“In all your movies you play the same character: a man who is kind of depressed, nervous, uncomfortable in his skin.”

“I’m not a good actor and this is a role I can play,” he said.

Her next question probed deeper, “Why do you make movies?”

Woody Allen’s response startled me. “Life is very difficult, tragic. I immerse myself in the making of movies to escape the realities of life.”

My perspective is exactly the opposite. I see our human creativity, not as an escape from reality, but as a way to align ourselves with the very nature of reality. When we surrender to the creative process, we are bringing ourselves to life and living what is real. It feels good because we expand and, science tells us, we live in an expanding universe.

We create because we are designed to create. Everyone needs to create, whether it’s making a movie, preparing a meal, building a business, designing an addition to the house, writing a book or a blog, building a Lego structure with a child.

Our limited self (or “lower self” or “ego”) is conditioned to default to our familiar pain or scattered energy. This is only one part of us, however. When we create, we are more in the moment. We tap into an elevated consciousness — a deeper and clearer mind and a heartfelt expression of who we are and what we love.

“How long have you been trying to change him?” I asked. “Twenty years” was her response. “Has it helped?” I asked. “No.” Much laughter.

I asked the entire audience if anyone had had results trying to change their husbands. A universal “no.” The energy in the room was electric. Everyone shared the same dilemma and hoped, perhaps, that the expert from another country might finally reveal the secret to changing a husband.

It is easy to understand why so many of us want to eliminate annoying behaviors in our mates (or other people in our lives). Trying to change him or her, however, does not work. Imagine—over the centuries and throughout the world—how much time and energy have been expended on this endeavor. And how much anger and defensiveness have been generated.

If trying to change someone does not work, how can we make our relationships better and better over time?

By being joyfully engaged in the adventure of life, growing and awakening step-by-step. When we are in this process, we naturally give up needing the world around us to change. Instead, we discover our innate peace and joy and we effortlessly transmit them to others. Even husbands find themselves feeling easier, more hopeful, and more content.

How about a bigger view?

The times we are living in remind us that the days of being resistant to change must end.  In spite of any fear of doing so, we must change our familiar way of operating. We cannot afford to stay the same and we don’t have to. We can learn to mine the untapped powers we all possess. 

You have within you the higher levels of consciousness that spiritual leaders have talked about for centuries. Within this consciousness are “minds” that transcend ordinary thinking and processing. One of these minds lives deep within your mid-chest. This mind, your innermost self (Buddha nature, Christ within, formlessness, Heart Presence, pure consciousness), directly knows your most enlightened course of action in all situations. Your innermost self is also where love, connection, peace, beauty and joy are found.

Another mind, even more profound than the innermost self, comes into existence when the mind in your head is working in conjunction with the mind deep in your chest. In the East, this mind has been called “the jewel in the lotus.”

Deep within you is the yearning for a greater life and the courage to follow it. As you follow this yearning, in the context of your daily life, you will come to know that your life matters and you will effortlessly lift up those around you. In a time of great stress, it is time to do what it takes to get free. You can do this, and we can do it together.

In times of uncertainty it’s important that we spend time every day on what’s truly reliable. Here is something that invariably helps you stay on track, be steady, and live a fulfilling life—no matter what’s going on around you:

All of us yearn to live the deepest levels of life. When you take the time to feel this yearning, you are tapping into your innermost self and moving toward what is called “being Awake.” When you are Awake, you actually experience the often-repeated truth that the peace, love, compassion, and joy you seek have always been within you. Human beings are made to follow their deep inner yearning to Awaken. Since this yearning is inherent and authentic, simply feeling it gives you moment-to-moment depth, balance, and wisdom.

In times of uncertainty it’s important that we spend time every day on what’s truly reliable. Here is something that invariably helps you stay on track, be steady, and live a fulfilling life—no matter what’s going on around you: 

When you have awareness and sensation up through the middle of your body, you are more centered. For example, sensing mid-way in your torso between your front and back; sensing mid-way between your two sides; sensing mid-way between the bottoms of your feet and the top of your head; being in the middle of your head. When you are more centered, you experience more balance and harmony. You can rely on this centering; it’s the way things work.